No Real Danger

35 (Bonus!) Carver (2015)

A Halloween set slasher directed by a kid who wasn’t old enough to drive at the time! This one is a pretty straightforward slasher that tried to do things a bit different in its final moments. It is impressive that a 13-14 year old kid made it. Worth checking out just for that.

34 (Bonus!) Hellbender (2021)

A woman keeps her teen daughter far away from other people due to an autoimmune disease, but is mom telling the truth? This was really enjoyable. A great new twist on witch folklore with psychedelic visuals and unique storytelling devices.

33 (Bonus!) Culture Shock (2019)

After surviving traveling to and over the border with some of the worst people, a pregnant Mexican woman ends up in a U.S. pastel-colored suburban Eden, but all is not what it seems. This too feels like a “Black Mirror” episode. I guessed the twist pretty easily but that didn’t take away from the experience really. This is a sufficiently good revenge story with some irredeemable characters on both sides of the border.

32 (Bonus!) The Wind (2018)

Two couples find difficulties living off of the land in the US westward expansion. Especially, since there is a sinister presence affecting the women. I liked this one quite a bit! I appreciated the western backdrop and the folklore building. And Caitlin Gerard portrayed her character Lizzie’s decent into madness beautifully.

31 All That We Destroy (2019)

A woman makes clones for her serial killer son to kill in hopes of curing him. This one feels a lot like an episode of “Black Mirror”. It is set in a vague future and features some future tech being used in disturbing ways. The performances are solid and the premise is intriguing. Overall, it’s not bad. I wasn’t blown away, but I wasn’t bored either. Not bad.

30 Tentacles (2021)

Another from the “Into the Dark” Hulu horror films series. A woman running from her past finds what seems to be her soul mate, but things aren’t what they seem! This is such a good slow burn relationship drama that boils over into weird otherworldly horror in such a great way. Too bad the CGI is so bad and distracting. It’s still good, but I’m just a bit disappointed. Maybe my standards are too high. Or maybe not. Who knows!

29 Amulet (2020)

Metaphorically haunted ex-soldier is recruited by a nun to help a woman and her elderly mother, who is confined to the attic behind a locked door. I really like this one too! An intriguing story with a smattering of unsettling instances that simmers until it shocks with an unexpected left turn into cosmic horror.

28 Little Monsters (2019)

Chose this to watch with my the horror-averse fam hoping for fun, humor, and not too much blood/gore. Well, two out of three ain’t bad! This movie had a surprising amount of blood and gore. I had a bit of a hard time swallowing the main character’s redemption arc, but it was still good nonetheless.

27 Slaxx (2020)

I slept on this one until now because it’s a killer pants movie. That sounds objectively stupid, right? Well, I’m really glad I came around! It’s gory. It’s fun. It’s funny. And it has a good point to make about fast fashion and corporate greed/green washing.

26 See No Evil 2 (2014)

I didn’t see the first one but it didn’t seem to matter at all. My biggest question was about a mask the morgue techs take off of a body they’re working on that (as far as i know) has nothing to do with the story. Anyway, it’s a solid slasher with plenty of gore and a couple of horror icons in prominent roles.

25 Hatching (2022)

Girl mercy kills a raven and hatches its egg. The egg produces a really weird monster that the kid takes care of. I really liked this one! The monster design and puppetry/animatronics were cool and the story was the right amount of WTF. It does get a small ding for some bad CGI. One particular scene had great emotional weight (I got choked up) that was immediately undercut with some laughable CGI.

24 MaXXXine (2024)

Maxine is now in LA doing porn, stripping, and peepshows and hoping to break into the “real film” business while The Night Stalker, or someone else, is killing people close to her. Giallo and grindhouse homage that wraps the trilogy up nicely. I prefer this one over Pearl, but X is still the best. Mia Goth is a powerhouse.

23 The Ones You Didn’t Burn (2022)

I wouldn’t say this one is strictly horror. The themes are there (a couple of them) but its tension is found in character relationships and personal demons (metaphorical). Suffers from common low budget film woes. Namely, uneven acting and a rushed character arc.

22 Sting (2024)

A solid creature feature with some cool visual nods to a few classic horror films. The creature design is decent and the CGI isn’t terrible. Worth checking out for fans of the subgenre.

21 My Best Friend’s Exorcism (2022)

BFFs in the 80s deal with zits, crushes, strict parents, and demonic possession. I read this book and thought it was ok but forgettable. So, I guess it’s no surprise that the film is the same.

20 Shadow in the Cloud (2020)

I heard absolutely nothing about this before watching. And that’s the best way to go into this one. So, no plot details for you. Just know that it is a lot of fun!

19 Black Christmas (2019)

The original Black Christmas is pretty great. The 2006 remake is ok. I’m not sure why this one was re-remade. Or why it added a twist that is mind-numbingly inane. Or why its (valid) feminist message is delivered with a cartoonishly large bludgeon. This one just did not do it for me.

18 Vamps (2012)

A lot more comedy than horror, but it has vampires and one gruesome death so I’m counting it. It’s weirdly shot. Like a sitcom sometimes. Or a play. In fact, I thought it was a play during the opening scene. It’s not. But who am I to question Amy Heckerling?! It’s pretty fun/funny but don’t go into it expecting to be spooked.

17 V/H/S/Beyond (2024)

Great anthologies are only great on average. Meaning, the good outweighs the bad. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that there will be any good among the bad. V/H/S/Beyond is a film that demonstrates that. Ok, that’s an exaggeration, the “Stowaway” segment was decent+.

16 Slay! (2024)

Fun and (relatively) funny vampire siege story featuring famous drag queens. Drags (ha!) a bit when the personal growth monologues start but finishes strong. I liked the new takes on vampire lore and some of the vaudeville-style banter.

15 Give Me Pity! (2022)

Arthouse psychedelia with an 80s aesthetic. Presented as a TV special featuring (almost exclusively) a beloved actress. Imagine the most insufferable theater kid making a horror(ish) movie where not achieving fame is the bad guy, but somehow it’s good. Well, “good” in an interesting way. It’s different, that’s for sure.

14 Messiah of Evil (1974)

Low budget schlock that starts off pretty intriguing but drags hard until the final reel. This is apparently well-respected in some circles. I don’t see why (and i’m too lazy to look into it).

13 Gaia (2021)

I am really creeped out by forests as they are presented in horror movies. The weird thing is, I love forests IRL. Gaia is all about creepy forest shit! And it’s creepy! I liked this one quite a bit. I just had to ignore the nagging voice in my head complaining that the mycology wasn’t exactly accurate.

12 The House of the Dead (1978)

An anthology film where a mortician tells the tales of his “acquisitions”. It’s not very horrific, but the stories have murder and some supernatural elements, so it counts. The best segment was cleverly non-linear, with a serial killer being led somewhere by police intercut with his snuff films. Some segments feel like “The Twilight Zone” a bit. Not great but not terrible.

11 Slash/Back (2022)

Very solid “kids on bikes” alien horror set in an Inuit village in northern Canada. With overt nods to (and direct references to) The Thing, I would have hoped for more practical effects, but the CGI isn’t too distracting and the resolve of the tween girls to save their friends and family is a lot of fun to watch.

10 The First Omen (2024)

I had very low expectations for this The Omen prequel, but I was pleasantly surprised by how good it is. It hits the religious horror notes you might expect but doesn’t fall into triteness. The performances are rock solid and the chills hit some intense peaks that really elevate the film above what could have been an easy nostalgia money grab.

9 Huesara: The Bone Woman (2022)

Another great creeper. This one is centered on a woman’s pregnancy. The eerie changes in her life that ramp up as her pregnancy progresses are mysterious and harrowing. And once she delivers, there is a chilling (eyebrow waggle for those who have seen the film) scene when her baby goes missing.

8 Blood Moon (2021)

Single mom and her son seem to be on the run. Mom is particularly anxious about the full moon. This is a refreshing twist on the familiar cursed werewolf story with a lot of heart and some solid performances. It’s light on the gore, but definitely worth a watch.

7 Birth / Rebirth (2023)

What if Frankenstein’s monster was somebody’s kindergartener? That’s an oversimplification of the plot, but it gives you the gist. The film has a broken heart at its core. Not in a mean-spirited way. Quite the opposite. The story’s tension is masterfully crafted and Judy Reyes is great as the desperate mother.

6 Ginger Snaps (2000)

Nothing new to say about this Canadian gem. If you haven’t seen it, fix that. It’s really good!

5 The Watchers (2024)

So… this is very clearly a nepo project. That doesn’t mean it sucks by default. But it does mean that I went in with very low expectations. The good: it is really competently directed! Looks good. Great aesthetic. The bad (mild): the lore created for the “watchers” goes against the established lore of what they are revealed to be with no real explanation of why. And there’s a twist (of course) that I didn’t find particularly surprising. Overall, it’s another film for the “fine” pile.

4 Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Pete Davidson is not my cup of tea. I feel like he’s always obviously doing a character. But in this case, his douchey, jealous character is fitting. The story of mostly rich millennials getting killed while trapped in a mansion during a hurricane is entertaining enough, but I am not a fan of the ad hoc unmoderated group therapy talk these frenemies engage in at several points. I get that fear has turned them all suspicious of each other. It just got a bit tedious and obnoxious. Meh.

3 Totally Killer (2023)

A fun serial killer mystery with a time travel twist. Go into this one with low horror expectations but high good vibes expectations and you’ll have a good time. Would make a good double feature with Happy Death Day. Best to show this one first though. HDD is definitely the headliner of the two.

2 I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

100% vibes – no real blood or violence but plenty of creepiness. The film is scrappy and weird (in a good way). It uniquely dispenses with some well-established filmmaking conventions. Definitely worth a watch when you’re in the mood for something creepy but not super intense.

1 Here for Blood (2022)

A fun low-budget siege film starring what I assume are professional wrestlers. A decent horror comedy with a little bit of schlock. Don’t think too hard on why there is some sort of Hell portal in a barn or why a head without lungs can talk. Just appreciate the puppetty goofiness and you’ll have a good time.